System Collection
by Cedarx
Summary: A collection of one-shots, featuring YukiKyon.
1. Guardian Angel

System Collection

**Hello. This will be a collection of one-shots, with varying lengths. More to be added- as soon as the muse hits. Please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: If you sue me, just remember. I have Yuki on my side. **

**Announcement- Just to clear up (if any) confusion... I've changed my pen name to Cedarx. I think you'll be able to figure it out, but for politeness' sake, I'm putting this up anyway. Thanks.  
**

* * *

**  
Story 1: ****Guardian Angel**

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick._

I groaned and forced my eyes away from the clock. It was a hot, hot summer day, and the whole brigade was sitting in the clubroom. Haruhi wasn't here today, and by all rights I should have escaped to my air-conditioned, blissfully cool apartment already.

However... the memory of what happened the _last_ time I attempted to escape my "club duties" still rung loud and clear in my head.

* * *

_Flashback_

"_Kyon..."_

_I stopped dead in my tracks. Caught red-handed!_

_Turning around slowly, and fearfully, I found Haruhi standing at the doorway to the SOS Brigade, leaning against the doorway, for all intents and purposes calm and cool in gaze and posture._

_I knew better._

"_What do you think you're doing, Kyon?" she asked in a deceptively calm voice._

"_Eh... umm... well... I- You see- I was just-"_

"_... Mhmmm...? What is it, Kyon? A bit... nervous?" At the word "nervous", Haruhi snapped her fist against the door frame, creating a small indentation. My eyes grew wide, and I started sweating._

"_I- See, I can explain." I wanted to hit myself. Why did I sound so _guilty? _Was it my conscience? More likely it was the fear of facing Haruhi's wrath._

"_I was going out to... erm... get water, for the Brigade classroom. Yeah, that's it!"_

_I almost sighed in relief. That was a relatively safe excuse- the club water dispenser was running low, and as I said earlier, it was a very hot summer's day. As for my real reason... much different. Apparently, today, Haruhi had assigned everyone a job for the "benefit of the entire club". Naturally, she herself didn't get a menial chore ("I have to lead! That's the hardest job there is!" she proclaimed) but instead, gave everyone else something to do, as if we all had no lives. Sadly, this was probably true._

_Asahina-san, Koizumi, and Nagato had all been assigned printing duty. That is, Haruhi had made a new club pamphlet, and needed it copied. By hand. It was more "authentic", she said. Like it mattered one bit... Nagato probably traced and copied the entire thing out. The group might even get in trouble for suspected photocopying, due to the quality of Nagato's elegant calligraphy. It wasn't my problem though- my problem was, apparently, to stay in this 100-plus degree room, and clean. _Clean,_ I say. It was a totally random chore, and extremely uncalled for! I had a feeling that Haruhi enjoyed torturing me. Sadist, maybe?_

_In any case, I had tried to sneak out early- after just 10 minutes in that room, with our pitiful desk fan going full blast, I had already sweated out about two gallons of sweat. My uniform was soaked, and I felt what seemed like the beginnings of a heatstroke. For the sake of my health, and general life, I tried to leave early, but to my luck, I had only started out for five steps before Haruhi walked up the corridor _behind _me, and started interrogating me. This was bad- really bad!_

"_Ah... so you were going to get water... and _not_ shirk your duties as a lowly servant to the SOS Brigade... right?" Haruhi pondered. "I guess that makes sense. We do need water."_

"_Yes. That's exactly right. Now if you'll excuse me..."_

_I made a quick effort to scamper away as fast as my legs would carry me. No luck._

"_Oh... well... too bad... BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, SLACKER!"_

_Haruhi lunged at me, and I covered my head, fully expecting a few bruises to accompany me home tonight._

"_Wait."_

_Heh?_

_Haruhi stopped in her tracks, then turned around. _

"_Yuki? What is it? I'm about to punish Kyon for his laziness. And aren't you supposed to be helping Koizumi and Asahina-san copy those fliers?"_

"_It is done," Nagato intoned, "and you have no need. The set duties have been accomplished."_

"_What...?" Haruhi scowled, "no he didn't. I'm afraid that he's tricked you, or something. There's absolutely no way he could have finished cleaning the clubroom in 10 minutes. He just wanted to get out because it was a bit hot."_

_A bit hot? Gross understatement!_

_Nagato motioned toward the clubroom, and Haruhi frowned slightly. Haruhi opened the door, and stepped inside, while I winced in fear. I was grateful to Nagato for defending me, but she was only postponing Haruhi's wrath. I hadn't cleaned _anything_ in the clubroom, choosing to spend my time wasting away and trying not to melt into a puddle in front of the fan. The Brigade clubroom was still a mess- like always_

_Haruhi blinked as she surveyed the room. This was new._

"_What do you know... you did clean the clubroom! It's spotless! Good job, Kyon. For once, you're not slacking off in your duties to the club. Keep this up, and you might rise from your position as a lowly grunt." She smiled at me, and then frowned just as quickly._

"_But don't think this is an excuse to become lazy in future club activities, or you'll pay big time. Okay?" _

_With those menacing words, Haruhi skipped down the stairs, presumably to bully some other unfortunate student._

_I blinked twice. Then I turned to Yuki, who stood, emotionless through the whole spectacle._

"_Yuki...? Did you do this? I'm pretty sure that I left the room just as it was when I left."_

_She stared at me. Her eyes were a dark pool of smooth caramel, framed by wisps of hair._

_Then she spoke.  
_

"_Negative. You performed Haruhi's assigned duties in the time allocated. I arrived too late to be of assistance."_

_Then she turned, schoolgirl uniform spinning, purple tresses twirling, and left the hallway._

_I just stared. _

_Thank you, Nagato._

_End Flashback_

* * *

Never did I feel like escaping more than today. It was even hotter than the other day I had tried to climb out of this hellhole- 105 degrees Fahrenheit at the very least. Koizumi and Nagato weren't the least bit affected- the former sat at the table, smiling at nothing in particular (as usual), and the latter sat near the blistering hot window, book opened, posture unmoving (also as usual). Asahina-san did not have this stoic, unnerving ability, but she was dressed in a bunny outfit today, giving at least some respite. I wasn't far gone enough to say that I would have donned the bunny outfit to cool down, but I was close enough.

Stop laughing. I can see you out there.

Then, with a rush, the door opened, and in marched Haruhi. She was smiling triumphantly, not a bead of sweat on her forehead. One of the "temperature-oblivious" club members. It just wasn't fair.

"Okay, club. I was kinda late today-"

Lies! An hour and a half is by no means "kinda"!

"But I've got exciting news! We're going to march down to the journalism department, and help them with a few odd jobs. In return, they'll write a 3x3 piece on the SOS Brigade for their next issue!

WHAT?

The journalism department stayed after school for more than an hour from now. We would have to walk _up_, into an equally hot room spinning with heat-exhuming machinery, just to get some space on a daily paper _nobody_ reads. And 3x3? Did Haruhi even know what that meant? An area of 9 square inches, or centimeters, total, on the paper. That was barely enough to fit a group picture!

Apparently, it was all the same to Haruhi, however. Publicity was publicity, especially when using free club (slave) labor.

I almost sighed aloud, but there was no resisting Haruhi. I was about to resign myself to a hellish hour, when suddenly Nagato stood up from her chair.

"Huh?" Haruhi whirled around, and looked quizzically at Nagato, "What's wrong?"

"Severe heatstroke."

Nagato nodded toward my direction, with a calculating look, as if checking me for symptoms.

Haruhi frowned, and said in a slightly panicked voice:

"What should we do, then?"

Nagato turned her even gaze to Haruhi, and stated, "I will escort him to the school nurse. If I start now, he will be well by tomorrow."

Haruhi sighed in relief. I couldn't tell what for. My general health, or the fact that she wouldn't miss one of her club members (slaves) for more than a day.

What was really strange, however, was the fact that I didn't _feel_ like I had a heatstroke. Granted, I was blazingly overheated, but my body had withstood tougher rigors. Then again, I had learned to trust Nagato's judgment. There must have been some symptoms, an irregular pulse, or something, that Nagato had spotted. That must had been why she alerted all of us.

I actually grew kind of worried. What kind of condition was it? Was I honestly inexperienced at dealing with my own body?

This worry manifested itself as a slight frown. This was the final piece of evidence Haruhi needed.

"Okay, Yuki. Take Kyon to the nurse's office. Me, Koizumi, and Asahina-san will be in the journalism room, if you need us, okay?"

Yuki nodded.

"Take care, Kyon. Be sure to be right back tomorrow!" With a wave and a wink, Haruhi and her two tortured servants were out.

I sighed. Of course. My well-being was comparable to that of a pack mule.

Now, I turned to Yuki, and I started. She was standing right next to me, a calm expression in her crystal-clear eyes. I didn't even hear her move.

"Uh... Yuki? Shouldn't we go to the nurse's office, to get some ice packs, or something, now?"

Yuki shook her head.

"Irrelevant. You do not have heatstroke."

I breathed out in relief, but stared confusedly in the same moment.

"Then why...?"

Yuki surprised me, by abruptly leaning forward, and wrapping me in a hug. The soft material of her uniform was surprisingly cool, and the contours of her body fit mine perfectly. Her skin was very soft, and unexpectedly cold. At least compared to my feverish skin. Her body probably stayed the same temperature year round, kind of like built-in climate control. I took the opportunity to return the embrace, noting that her expression had not changed during the entire exchange.

Time froze. Her head rested gently on my shoulder, and my chin grazed the top of her head. It took me only a second to realize how much I cherished this moment.

After a few seconds, we broke apart. I searched Yuki's face, but only found trace amounts of any emotion. It might have been my imagination, for all I know.

The only thing I knew for certain was that, I felt refreshed from the hug, like a crisp winter breeze had just found its way into the room, just to suck the heat out of my body. Mind and spirit renewed, I turned to thank Yuki.

She nodded, and intoned, "Heatstroke treated. Please return home to recuperate."

I started again, in shock. Did Yuki honestly just give me permission to play hooky with Haruhi for the rest of the day? I searched her eyes, and, it could have been my imagination again, but I could have sworn I saw the briefest glimmerings of amusement dancing in her coffee-hued orbs.

She turned away.

"Get well soon."

Then, expression neutral, she left the room.

…

I stared after her, smiling wryly.

_Thanks, Yuki._

_

* * *

_

**Thanks for reading. I'll try to post the second one-shot as soon as I can. Until then...**

**-Cedarx  
**


	2. Smile for Me

Smile for Me

**This is the second installation of the System Collection series- and my personal favorite. That might be slightly redundant, as there are _only_ two stories currently, but I felt like pointing that out.**

**As always, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Today was the day.

Full of hope, will, and vigor, I resolved to perform an impossible task- one equal in difficulty to Zeus' slaughter of Chronos, equal the bravery of the conductors in the underground railroad, equal to the sheer impossibility of defeating Hercules in an arm-wrestling competition.

I was going to make Yuki laugh.

* * *

Well, not laugh as in literally laugh. I'm wise enough to know _those_ limits. What I meant was, I would get her to give a smile, at least portray enough emotion to know that I had gotten to her. It is a daunting task, I know, but one that I feel I might be able to accomplish, with the right timing and luck. Besides, listening to Haruhi's propaganda aside, I really didn't have anything else to do.

So with a gulp and a sigh, I entered the clubroom with a new resolve on my mind.

Nagato, as usual, sat in her customary chair by the window sill, reading. This time, however, instead of her usual novel, she was holding a thickly-bound encyclopedia. The book was as wide as her lithe frame, and was easily 20 pounds. Nagato, as usual, however, had no problem keeping it in aloft with just four slim fingers, holding the reference book up in optimal reading position.

She was probably on one of her "knowledge-gathering" hunts, though I could tell she didn't put any actual effort into it. Flipping through an encyclopedia at a human's pace was hardly efficient.

"Alright, Brigade members!" Haruhi shouted as soon as I stepped into the room, "today, we're headed for the library-"

A few thought processes went through my head at this moment in time.

First off, I realized how happy... eh... that was probably the wrong word to describe it- how content Nagato would be at this proclamation. Not only was the library an establishment chock-full of knowledge, it was also enclosed, safe, and quiet. There would be little need to protect Haruhi there, and as long as it was her idea, it was improbable that Haruhi would get bored.

Secondly, I noted that, once Nagato was engrossed in her favorite human data-collection site, it would be far easier to accomplish my self-assigned task. It was the first time in living memory I was actually excited about Haruhi's orders for the day. As a side note, I also had some homework to finish. The library was a good place to sneak some in before I had to return home.

"- to volunteer for the day. Mikuru and Koizumi, you two will be assigned desk duty. You'll be checking people's books out for them at the front desk, and helping them with anything else they need. Kyon, and Yuki- you two will be re-shelving books. Be sure to get familiar with the library; inside and out! Alright, team. Let's go!"

Nagato stood up, closing her book, and laying it down on the desk. Asahina-san and Koizumi followed suit. I noticed, with my usual perception, that Asahina-san was wearing her trademark nurse outfit today. She looked vaguely uncomfortable in it. I was pretty sure that books weren't the only thing people were going to check out today at the library if she didn't change out of it.

"Wait, Haruhi." I frowned slightly, interrupting her march down the room. She turned, arms on hips, and stared at me questioningly

"Is Asahina-san going to the library wearing_ that_?" I asked pointedly.

Haruhi blinked.

"Yes. What about it? Are you ogling poor Mikuru again?"

You're one to talk. Sexual abuse can happen between girls too, you know!

"No, Haruhi. I was just going to point out that her... erm... attire isn't suitable for going to the library. We're going to be out in public, not in the clubroom. I think she should change back into her school uniform."

Haruhi wrinkled her brow.

"I don't get why you want her to change out. If we keep her in her nurse uniform, then we'll attract loads of people to the library. They should be thanking us. We might even be able to charge for our services!"

That's not that point! You're missing the point entirely! And let's not even talk about the moral aspects of that suggestion...

"Umm... can I say something about this?" Asahina-san offered meekly.

"No." Haruhi brushed off Asahina-san's protests without even turning her head.

"Oh... okay..." Asahina-san bowed her head low. She turned and whispered something in Koizumi's ear. If I wasn't so curious to what she was saying, I probably would have been furious that she was that close to Haruhi's smiling yes-man.

"If I may offer..." Koizumi started, "I don't think Mikuru has her school uniform on her right now. I think what she was trying to say was that her uniform is not at school."

Asahina-san nodded weakly, afraid of breaking Haruhi's unspoken "no talking" rule.

"Oh. Well that settles it," Haruhi replied cheerfully, "we don't want to waste anymore time, so she'll just have to go to the library in her nurse outfit. I think we'll charge by the hour... let's see..."

Haruhi turned around and started going over some obscure figures in her head. Asahina-san paled, and started shaking her head vigorously, mouth still shut.

I sighed, but said nothing. Haruhi was extremely stubborn when it came to wasting time. If Asahina-san didn't have her uniform on her, then Haruhi would never give consent to use up another 20 minutes of "precious club time" for her to run home and grab it. Poor Asahina-san would just have to suffer.

Then I turned to look at Koizumi. He was staring at something just over my shoulder, with an amused grin on his face. I turned, and saw Nagato moving her hands through our cupboard, as if looking for something. She didn't seem to be looking very hard though- her hands were just going through the motions. I noticed that she didn't actually brush anything aside, or lift anything up. It was like she was practicing making shadow puppets in there, or something. Finally, after a few seconds, Nagato pulled out a crisp, new sailor uniform.

"Spare," she deadpanned by way of explanation.

Haruhi and I just stared at her.

Sure. A spare.

Quick thinking, Nagato.

She handed the uniform wordlessly to Asahina-san, who breathed a sigh of relief. Haruhi, on the other hand, looked disapprovingly at Yuki.

"Thanks a lot, Yuki... there goes our club funding..."

There are many words to describe what you were about to do, Haruhi. Club funding is not one of them.

Haruhi heaved a disappointed sigh, but recovered almost as quickly.

"Okay, Mikuru, change up. We've already wasted enough time as it is.​ I'll give you twenty seconds to dress, and then we're off. Starting... now!" With a shove, Haruhi pushed us all out the door, and shut it on Asahina-san, who was still paralyzed with surprise. I barely grabbed my homework before I was rudely pushed out.

"Mikuru! Fifteen seconds!" Haruhi shouted through the door.

"O-Oh..." Asahina-san replied shakingly, "H-hai."

I turned to look at Yuki. Was she happy about this new library development? She stared back, gaze neutral, eyes serene as a lake on a calm, moonlit night.

"..."

Yes, I think so.

* * *

We stepped into the library, and looked around. It was a busy day today, most likely because of the multitude of essays and reports that had been assigned at school the week before. It was at this point that I noticed a discerning flaw with Haruhi's plan.

"Hey, Haruhi. What are _you_ getting out of this? It's not like you to volunteer us just for the sake of doing some good."

She sniffed, "Of course I'm doing this for nothing. Nobody gets paid from volunteering."

"Is that why you tried to sell Asahina-san off like that?"

"Hey! That's different. That's smart business strategy."

Right. And I'm the queen of England.

"Honestly, Kyon. You can't doubt your leader like this- I'm only doing this for the good of the community. Don't be so selfish!"

Hypocrite. All the same, her argument was pretty convincing. I turned to Nagato, who met my gaze.

"..."

Her clear, light-brown eyes were mesmerizing. She blinked once.

I turned back.

"All right, Haruhi. Seriously. What are you really up to?"

Haruhi frowned in annoyance.

"We're wasting time here! Let's go already!"

I stared back levelly. Then, she caved.

"Fine, fine, fine. The school committee said that the club wasn't doing enough to benefit the school, or the community, so they threatened to cut our brigade off unless we got some volunteer hours. Happy?"

Haruhi scowled darkly at me. In fact, I was pretty happy. I won an argument with Haruhi. That was a first.

* * *

Then, we got started. As usual, Haruhi was "leading". This consisted of a variety of backbreaking chores, such as going down to the cafe down the street, buying a drink, coming back, and sipping it while going around giving various pep-talks to us. These pep-talks usually consisted of spirit-lifting motto's, such as "Work harder!", or "Stop slacking off!", or, one specially reserved for me, "Why can't you work as fast as Yuki?"

That last one was unfair. After about three seconds of analyzing the layout of the library from a sheet on the front desk, Yuki worked as efficiently as an assembly line. She had three tables in select spots reserved, and used them as checkpoints to lay down and take books. It was a like a relay race, only with one person. How that was possible, I will never know. All I knew was that in the first minute, Yuki already achieved more than 30 times my productivity level.

Holding a high stack of books, I sighed, giving up.

A quick cursory glance around the room assured me that Haruhi wasn't here. Another glance confirmed my other suspicions. There was a group of boys, and a few men, eerily enough, who kept making the rounds of the library, checking out books specially from the smiling Asahina-san, and going back in to check out some more. I stopped one of them on his circuit, and raised an eyebrow.

"Interesting selection of books."

"Huh? Yeah. Excuse me, I need to check these out..." he pulled away distractedly. I put my palm to my forehead as he sat in a daze, listening, but not comprehending Asahina-san's patient explanation that the boy had already checked out three dictionaries, and that he had no real need to check out a fourth. The boy nodded, still in a daze, and left Asahina-san, only to come back in and grab a _fifth_ dictionary.

Asahina-san- your beauty is indescribable, but honestly, you might want to consider plastic surgery, to lessen your perfect features, instead of improve on them. It would probably be a first for the entire industry.

I couldn't do anything about this, though. If Asahina-san didn't guess why she had much more traffic than Koizumi, it was better not to tell her. Ignorance is bliss.

I decided to use this time to see what I could do about the Nagato situation...

I walked over to Nagato, who was busy in the second leg of her "relay". I put my hand on her shoulder, and she stopped instantly.

"Hey, Nagato. Want to take a break? I'm pretty sure Haruhi's busy chatting with some people at the cafe by now."

Yuki blinked.

I took that as a yes.

I led her down to a nearby table, and sat down. She mirrored my movements.

I ran my hands through my hair, and wondered what to say. I still had no idea how I would get the quiet, expressionless girl to smile. Grabbing my homework out of a pile, I started it while looking up at Yuki.

"So... did you make the uniform materialize out of the closet?"

She shook her head.

"Creating data is an ability limited to Haruhi alone. My abilities are limited to molding available matter and data . However, an influx of data in the room would have created a minor repercussion, visibly felt. I did not modify any data."

I stared confusedly.

"So... you really did have a spare uniform?"

"No. I handed over my own uniform." I was skeptical at this point. So... if she handed Asahina-san her uniform, but was still wearing the same uniform... what...?

"You... cloned your uniform? Or something? How did you do that?"

"Copying data would have had the same consequences. I merely created a visual facade to fool Haruhi and others around me."

Heh?

"Meaning," she began again, slowly, "I created the illusion of a uniform on my physical body. There is no physical uniform currently on me. This uniform you see here is an illusion. In reality, I have nothing on."

…

…

…

"Please close your mouth. Your jawbone structure will collapse in five seconds due to hyperextention."

Yuki tilted her head to the side, in an way that was both innocent, and adorable at the same time.

"That was a joke. I am kidding. I was attempting the human skill of 'humor'. Was I successful?"

I closed my mouth, and let out a long breath.

"Yes, Yuki." I said, laughing weakly, "you were very... successful."

She nodded, head still tilted, seemingly unaware of how cute she looked.

"...?" she inquired wordlessly.

I shook my head no, then took a deep breath. So, apparently, I was so nervous trying to make her smile, that Yuki noticed, cracking a joke in an effort to get _me_ to smile.

After a few minutes of recovery, the conversation had lulled to a halt again, and I was doing my homework out of sheer boredom. I guess, in the end, Yuki had made _me_ laugh, instead of the other way around. In the end, there really was no way to make a data entity smile... it was a sobering thought.

Then, as if bespelled, my eyes shot up, and I marveled at an amazing sight.

Yuki was smiling slightly, in an amused sort of way. Her face was beautiful- almost illuminated with the subtle expression. I sat agape once again, wondering what had caused this revolutionary change so easily, when I had tried so hard earlier. Then, I realized that she was staring down at my homework, a writing assignment.

Question prompt: What would you say, if you ever met an alien?

Bored, I had doodled one sentence as a reply.

_Hello, Yuki._

_

* * *

_

**Now _that_ was fun to write. I hope it was equally enjoyable to read. I really _do_ appreciate your reviews, guys. To all of you who have, thank you very much. As a side note, I specifically answer reviews that ask specifically answer-able questions. Rhetorical does not count, but if you ever have a question, post it after your review, and I will get back to you on it. Again, thanks for making my day.  
**

**-Cedarx  
**


	3. Limited Edition Drabbles

Drabbles

**Erm... Hi. As you may or may not have noticed (or cared), I've recently changed my username from Falconrok5, to Cedarx. Just wanted to clear up any confusion on that subject.**

**In any case, I decided to do something a bit different on this chapter. As an exercise in writing discipline, I've limited myself, in words, for each drabble keyword. I asked a few of my friends to come up with random lists of ordinary objects, and wrote a short scene, or drabble, around each. Another friend gave me my limitations, in a 1-1-2-2-3-3 format. Basically, that means that the first and second keywords would get 100-word scenes, the third and fourth 200 each, and the fifth plus sixth, 300 each. **

**See? It's "limited". That's why the chapter title has "limited" edition in its name. I know, I made a joke. I'd prefer you laugh with me though, as opposed to at me.  
**

**Each of the scenes, excluding the title, are exactly that many words long. Don't bother checking it on a word-counter though; I've screened this through both MS Word, and OpenOffice, and they both gave me conflicting statistics. For example, in a scene where OpenOffice lists 200 words, Word might list 194. It's annoying, really. I used OpenOffice in the end as my standard.**

**Anyway, I realized, when I wrote this, how truely _difficult_ it is to write a decent fluff scene- or a scene at all- in the span of, say, 100 words. My muse went into a tantrum at the end of the drabble, out of pure frustration, for wasting so many story ideas on this word-limited chapter. So, in a rare act of rebellion, it forced my hand, and caused me to create a special, bonus, 500-word drabble in place of the 300-word one I had originally planned. Not much, but it was an improvement.**

**The keywords are, in order, _Poptart, Ceiling, Chocolate, Lamp Post, Umbrella, _and _Painting_.  
**

**As always, enjoy.**

**-Cedarx  
**

* * *

**Poptart**

I entered the clubroom one day, and realized that Nagato was staring at a toaster. A shiny, silver toaster.

_That's new._

She looked up at me,.

"... When did we get a toaster?"

"I bought it," was Nagato's concise reply.

_Okay..._

"And... why did you buy the toaster?"

The toaster answered for her. With a cheerful _ding_, a poptart flew out of the toaster, straight into Nagato's outstretched hand.

"Interesting..." the girl murmured quietly, staring at the pastry in her hand, "why do you humans call it a toaster, when this is clearly not toast...?"

* * *

**Ceiling**

"Why... do human dwellings have ceilings?" Yuki looked at me questioningly

_Heh?_

"It does not make any logical sense," she finished.

"But it's better if the weather out there-" I pointed to the gusting wind, "-were kept out."

Nagato said nothing, but walked out. I followed, and we exited the building.

The wind ruffled a few wisps of her hair, dark clouds overhead.

The atmosphere was breathtaking, ethereal- perfect.

Without thinking, I leaned in, and brushed my lips on her forehead. She closed her eyes slowly, and opened them again.

I smiled.

Yuki was always right.

* * *

**Chocolate**

I shivered, snow falling around me.

The snow wasn't why I was shivering; today was Valentine's day, and I've taken the liberty of buying some chocolates for a particular resident alien.

I was very nervous though- I hoped she would see the Valentine's day spirit in all of this. There was only one way to find out.

Spotting her from afar, I walked over to Yuki, who was standing near the front gates of the school, holding a snowflake in her hands. I smiled as I approached, and hoped for the best.

"Hello, Nagato."

She glanced up, and tilted her head wordlessly.

"Here. I got this for you," and with that, I held out the box of chocolates.

"..."

Yuki took it wordlessly, and looked at it for a long second.

"Chocolate. An aphrodisiac. Made of pressed cocoa beans. Used as a gift in human courting."

I sighed. She got the spirit- just not in the way I expected

So I thought- until Yuki unexpectedly handed me the snowflake she had been holding, which was surprisingly solid, and heavy.

Then, she turned and left.

I blinked, and peeled away the foil wrapping on the snowflake.

_Chocolate._

* * *

**Lamppost**

"... and that, class, concludes today's grammar lesson. Your homework is on the board. Class dismissed."

Kyon glared at the assignment. There was no way he would be able to finish any homework with all the activities Haruhi had planned today.

_Just another sleepless night, I suppose..._ he thought, dispirited.

That evening, as a worn-out Kyon walked his bike home, he spotted Yuki sitting a familiar park bench.

Yuki looked up questioningly, as he approached.

Kyon suddenly realized how tired he looked. He gave a half-hearted chuckle, and waved her curious gaze off.

"Don't worry, Nagato; it's just some homework I still have to do. It's nothing."

Yuki tilted her head to the side.

"May I help?"

Kyon shrugged and wordlessly handed over his textbook. Yuki flipped it open, and glanced at the instructions of the first assignment.

_Pick an object around you, and use __four__(4) adjectives to describe it. List below._

Yuki glanced sideways, and noticed the lamppost beside her.

"I choose a lamppost," she murmured, then continued in a clear voice.

"Thick. Hard. Long. Firm."

She turned back, expectantly, just in time to catch the sight of Kyon collapsing on to the ground.

* * *

**Umbrella**

It was raining. Hard.

Kyon winced at he looked out the window. He didn't relish the thought of walking home in this weather. It was at that moment when Nagato closed her book shut. They were the only two left in the clubroom, with one black umbrella in the stand.

Kyon glanced at Nagato.

"..."

A few minutes later, both of them were walking under the cover of the umbrella. They walked silently; it was a comfortable silence.

The wind rushed past in a flurry of sleet and hail. Kyon tightened his arm, wrestling with the gust for dominance over the thin umbrella. Nagato did not seem to be bothered by the weather- the wind only rustled her hair, and she seemed to repel rain.

The pair walked for a few more minutes before Kyon spoke up.

"Nagato... I was wondering..."

She did not reply. Kyon took that as his cue to continue.

"There's a difference between being expressionless, and being emotionless. As a data entity, which one of those are you?"

"I am capable of no emotion," was her immediate reply.

"Oh," Kyon looked slightly crestfallen, "so... you wouldn't be able to feel any emotion, such as... I don't know... love- correct?"

"Correct."

"Oh."

The pair walked on, and Kyon had another thought.

"But as an emotionless entity, is it possible for you to lie? Not like, lie to protect your mission, of course, but- whoa!"

The wind picked up, and blew the flimsy umbrella straight out of Kyon's hand. Cursing, he ran after it, the wind at his back, racing to catch up to the flying object.

A drop of water fell on to Yuki's cardigan.

"Yes," she replied inaudibly, face hooded by shadow, "I can lie."

* * *

**Painting**

"Okay, Brigade members. Artsy up! If we don't win this contest, I'm ordering Kyon to do one thousand push-ups with a canvas on his back. Let's go!"

This sunny Saturday, Haruhi had managed to gather all her members into the school art festival. And, as usual (, ignoring Kyon's protests of abuse), she proceeded to happily start brushing..

After several seconds arguing with an oblivious Haruhi, Kyon heaved a sigh, and gave up.

_What's the use...? One of us better win, or I think I'll go hide under a rock for the next three years..._ he thought darkly.

Glancing around, Kyon noticed that all the other members had already started. Koizumi and Asahina-san were picking out brushes, and Nagato was staring at her paint set with a faintly inquisitive look.

So, with a shrug, Kyon picked up a brush and began mixing paints.

_One hour later..._

Kyon wiped away a few droplets of sweat off his forehead, and looked at his work with complete and utter dejection. There was no way his abomination could _ever_ be passed off as art. After the hour limit, Kyon had successfully painted a grand total of: One squiggly stick figure, one pointy green rectangle posing as a field of grass, and one wet, blue watermark pretending to be the sky.

And an oddly-shaped cloud. But that was, pathetically enough, purely accidental.

Koizumi had an array of obscure shapes and lines on his canvas, using almost every color in the visible spectrum, as well as two in the invisible spectrum. Every specific hue of green, red, and purple was scratch-and-sniff. It was abstract.

Asahina-san had managed to stroke out a timid-looking sunflower on her canvas, complete with a purple backdrop. It was smiling at the world.

Haruhi created a perfect replica of _The Last Supper_.

Upside down.

Using color negatives.

Kyon eyebrow twitched.

_Life isn't fair..._

Then, out of curiosity, he leaned over to Nagato's canvas, and glanced at her creation.

It was a blank canvas. Or, more specifically, it was a blank _white_ canvas, totally glossed over with black paint. Now it was a blank _black _canvas.

Kyon blinked.

"Eh... Nagato. You do know how to paint- right?"

Nagato nodded.

"..."

"Do... you want me to help you mix paints?"

Nagato blinked, and nodded a slow _yes_.

"Great. Now-"

"KYON. Get over here- they've started judging!"

With an apologetic look, Kyon laid the paint set back in Nagato's arms, and headed off.

Yuki stared after him for a moment.

Then she set down the paint set, and lifted the black canvas to reveal the artwork underneath.

It was an intricate portrait of Kyon, painted from Yuki's point of view, looking down, dejectedly, at his own creation.

Yuki ran a finger over the edge of that scene, a pensive look in her eyes.

The wind blew gently through her hair.

"..."

Then, she quickly pulled the black canvas over the picture, and left, following Kyon towards the excited Haruhi.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. A shoutout to my whimsical, easily-distracted, surprisingly-blunt, and all-around awesome Beta, Integrated Data Thought Entity  
**

**I'll start another chapter as soon as my muse is on speaking terms with me again. Until then,**

**-Cedarx  
**


End file.
